Enjoy ::)

Anecdote:
When you are ill,you must always go to the doctor because he has to earn a living. The doctor will prescribe the medicines and you must buy them, because the druggist has got to live too.But you must never take those medicines because you also have to live!
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Reaching the end of a job...Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of College what kind of a salary he was looking for."In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.""Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years...say, a red Corvette?""Wow! Are you kidding?""Yeah, but you started it."

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skeleton WHY THE SKELETON SCARED TO CROSS THE ROAD?
ANS: BECOZ NO BALLS TO CROSS THE ROAD
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Blond getting a haircut :
blond was rollerblading with her headphones on. she stopped in the hair salon and asked for a hair cut. she instructed that the hair stylist could not take off the headphones.the stylist replied "no" so the blond left. she went to a different hair salon and said the same thing. the stylist replied "OK". after a while, the blond fell asleep in the chair. the stylist took off the headphones and the blond died on the spot. confused at what happened, the stylist put on the headphones. they were saying, "breath in, breath out"
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Scents In An Elevator An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City building when Young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!" Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye,then bends over and farts and says, ... "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound."

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Who is worse - wife or mother-in-law?When the man came come, his wife was crying. "Your mother insulted me," she sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the world?" the man asked."I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious.""And?""At the end of the letter it was written: PS. Dear Catherine, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son."

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smart salesman :;
A neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked - "Sir, would you like to buy a a bottle of this mouthwash for $200.00?" Aghast, the man said, "are you NUTS?, that's robbery!" The salesman seemed hurt and then tries again - "Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you for 1/2 price at $100.00? Again, the man replies bluntly - "you must be crazy pal, now go away!" The salesman then reaches into his briefcase and pulls out 2 brownies and begins munching away on one of them. He tells the irate guy - "Sir, please share one of my brownies since I have annoyed you so much". Unwrapping the brownie, the guy takes a bite; suddenly, the guys spits it out and says: "HEY," he snarled, "this brownie tastes like crap!!!" "It is," replied the salesman. "Wanna buy some mouthwash?"

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Women cannot keep secrets!"She told me," a women complained to a friend, "that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her." "Well," replied her friend in a hurt tone, "I told her not to tell you I told her.""Oh dear!" sighed the first women. "Well, don't tell her I told you that she told me."
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Two policemen are going to work:- Shall we take a bus or walk?-
Well, lets see what arrives first.
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A policeman comes to the office with one black shoe and one white shoe.
His boss starts to yell at him:- You are ruining police reputation, go home and change the Shoes.
The policeman goes home, and comes back after a while.- Boss I have a problem, the other pair of shoes at home are black and white, too.